This morning when I woke up, all over my Twitter timeline were tweets about Ariana Grande’s new song Thank U, Next. As soon as I heard it I felt empowered. I felt like this song is something amazing, rather than slating an ex or anything like that the song thanks them for the lessons she’s learnt. Then turning it into how she’s turned out from all those experiences. It got me thinking about the lessons I’ve learnt from previous relationships.I have been in two relationships, one was an abusive one and the other not. Whilst I don’t want to name the two, I think for me it’ll be a really positive thing to think about the positives of a relationship rather than be ashamed of things that have happened.
This was my first relationship, and abusive. Whilst it fucked me up for a really long time after, it taught me so much. What I look for in a person, the behaviour of people I will and won’t tolerate, how to stand up for myself and take 0 bullshit from anyone.
This was my longest relationship and one that means a lot to me. I learnt how to communicate better, how to be more spontaneous and how to live more in the moment. I learnt how to get out of my head when I felt anxiety or down.
So thank you to both of you. Whilst one thank you is harder than the other. I feel like it’s important to not dwell on the negatives. Whilst being in an abusive relationship was horrific and I would never wish it upon anyone, all these years later I have finally accepted what happened to me. Whilst it will always be apart of me it doesn’t define who I am. It is really difficult me to thank J for anything, but it taught me so much.
I am now a strong person. I’ve learnt from the pain and now I have so much love to give. I try not to look at what happened and what I lost, but the things I have found. If it weren’t for those experiences I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am. It may sound silly but I have a better relationship with myself, learning to deal with all the things that come my way and understanding myself.
In the words of Ari..
Thank you, next